tomorrow's yesterday

you smelled like the musk of midnight and held my hand like tomorrow's yesterday wouldn't happen.

i think its because you knew from the start that my heart wasn't made for 2 and another tomorrow might be too much to ask.

but you were wrong

because another tomorrow meant another day of us,

and i loved everything about that.

tomorrow's yesterday means today,

and you were so caught up living in the moment,

you didn't think about the next week

or the ten before. (that i'm stuck thinking about)

i regret that i built you up so high

only to have you tear me down one brick at a time.

 so now I'm sitting here with my hands open, wishing i knew why you let it go

because you held it like tomorrow's yesterday wouldn't happen

but it did

you promised me you'd never break my heart, 

and then threw it off the balcony of the hotel i cried in new years eve.

because while you were out hanging with other girls, 

doing other things,

i was only thinking of you.

you promised me that tomorrow's yesterday wouldn't happen

and after everything, i still can't get you off of my mind, no matter how hard i try.

no matter how many new songs i download,

no matter how many pictures i delete,

no matter how many times we ignore each other in the halls,

i can't forget you,

or october 27th 

or december 24th,

or february 1st.

you still wear that shirt i gave you for christmas, every damn A day

the only day we have a class together

and i can't help but think its because you miss me

like i miss you

but maybe i only miss the memories

because tomorrow's yesterday happened just like the psychic said

and as much as i don't want to ever see you again, i do 

i do

i do

i don't want to ever go back to how things used to be

i don't want the late night texts, the long drives, or the sushi dates

i don't want any more worry, i don't want any more late night thoughts

because it's sunday and i know there's gonna be another sunday

and i'm so sick of saying goodbye.

deep down in my naive heart,

i knew that "a break" meant i'd be broken, and now i'm trying to find my glue 

because everything fell apart and i want to mend half of it back together.

i want friendship and your humor

i don't want love, i want closure.

and i'll never find my glue

because sunday just came over 

wearing that shirt i gave him for christmas,

and he left my door wide open,

again.