concrete crisis

I've decided to run away from my problems because

brick

          after brick

                     after brick

has hit me,

and my body bruises too easy

30 bricks that left a mark:

brick number one: my uncle cheated on his wi(f)e(amily)

brick number two: seeing my best friend cry for the first time

brick number three: the haunting memory of three summers ago

brick number four: saying goodbye for what i thought would be an eternity

brick number five: thinking we'd last that long

brick number six: the four months i'll never get back

brick number seven: him

brick number eight: grandpa's passing and grandmas cancer

brick number nine: counting down the days

brick number ten: getting all ready to go all out for the boy who bailed...again

brick number eleven: thinking about the ex too much

brick number twelve: missing what i shouldn't 

brick number thirteen: the second date i'll never get over

brick number fourteen: being too afraid to reach out, but not being reached out to

brick number fifteen: not wanting to let go for the second time

brick number sixteen: freshman year

brick number seventeen: not being cool enough

brick number eighteen: the knight in the commons

brick number nineteen: when i had no idea it was his first kiss

brick number twenty: my first kiss

brick number twenty one: the wrath of being a student at LP

brick number twenty two: too much time spent studying

brick number twenty three: no photogenic ability

brick number twenty four: my messed up sleep schedule

brick number twenty five: growing up

brick number twenty six: no wifi

brick number twenty seven: new years eve 2015

brick number twenty eight: grandma's facebook comments

brick number twenty nine: loving the family, hating the boy

brick number thirty: spending my birthday money all in one day

1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.11.12.13.14.15.16.17.18.19.20.21.22.23.24.25.26.27.28.29.30 bricks later

maybe you can see

that if you picked me apart

brick

          by 

        brick

  by 

   brick

you'd find my heart

and when you found my heart

i hope you'd go inside

and if you choose to go inside

you'll notice almost all the bricks 

are falling out of place

so please catch them

please catch me

please carry some of my bricks.

the load is getting too heavy,

and i only brought a knapsack