i am what i'm not

 

i know i'm human because i cry

 and those tears that fall

damn

they fall fast

they fall hard

and I've always been afraid of falling

but thats how i know that i am alive

because i can fall

i am tangible

skin and bones and eyes and all

not perfect

but i am

so i'll continue to think about how I drive too fast and work too slow

i'll probably even continue to cause my own sleep deprivation over worry

cause i don't just worry but i worry too much

and when i worry i'm thinking about you and that group project i was never apart of

and how i hate being the one to text first but I hate the thought of not talking

and im thinking about how I care what other people are thinking about

 how i worry that foreign things were what he was thinking about

and how sometimes i can't even explain what i'm freaking thinking about.

so who am i to judge?

seriously,

there are over a billion, trillion words and i can't get any of them onto paper?

i understood the math homework last night,

but i don't get myself 

i get that alone is one summary of human existence 

and that time seems to be a funny little thing

yet it doesn't like to make jokes three-fifths of the time 

i get that "goodbye" is sometimes a life sentence, 

and that no matter how many times you tell someone you love them, you can't prove a thing

 i get that i only get all those things because i am.

 even when i'm not there

when i'm just existing

when i sit through this class called "life" and don't hear a word

each 

     and
every
         minute

                                                                       

     seems to calculate itself...

so if you asked me

yes

i'm human

but to tell you the truth, 

i'd make one hell of a robot.